Some days are harder than others. Casey and I seem to set one another off easily lately. Sunday we got into a disagreement because he didn't want to complete his homework, practice his trombone or help with anything. He didn't want to go to dinner at our friends house that night or watch his brothers indoor soccer game. I wasn't having any of it. Everything I asked for was fought against or not done at all. Finally our talks escalated and it ended with me sending him to his room. This note was shoved under the door.
The part in the letter that resonated the most with me was when he said he is feeling down and under pressure. I was trying to help him get organized and complete what he needed to do early enough in the day so he could relax and feel less pressure for the week.
Yesterday I got home from work and not much homework had been done by either boy. Casey hadn't practiced his trombone, his musical lines or finished his math homework. He said he was waiting for me to help with math. Here we go again. Um No. He has over two hours till we get home from work and access to a computer where he can google how to do his math if he needs help. Waiting for help is a waste of time. We had no time. We had ten minutes to leave for Erik's indoor soccer game. I have a friend who is a high school teacher and she mentioned recently how much time students lose/waste. She wishes parents helped their students learn organizational/time management skills because it would help them with absolutely everything, from showing up on time, remembering to bring what they need, eating and sleeping enough, to making plans and completing homework and projects. I'm going to start working with him on organizational skills and planning how much time he needs to finish projects. Maybe we can make some progress this year. His binder and backpack could use a hug for sure.
I laid with him in his bed last night, said some prayers and talked about expectations. Fingers crossed that some of our conversation sticks. Then just to make him laugh/cringe, I sang to him. It's good to be a Mom.
From what I've read, his eleven-year-old behavior is completely normal. He needs some space and be allowed to question things. We can do this. We can support him and not lose our minds.