Feelings, nothing more than feelings

Nothing brings up FEELINGS like the holidays. Have you seen Home for the Holidays? It is one of my absolute favorite movies.

I have a lot of bad habits, I know you're shocked, stay with me. I make light of things, because I am scared, angry, sad--you name it. My knee jerk reaction is to laugh during difficult moments, when really, I don't want to laugh. I give advice too much. I avoid people when I don't want to deal. I don't speak up when maybe I should. I make being busy an excuse to avoid intimacy. I pretend I don't care as much as I really do. I  have a hard time accepting that someone loves/likes/care for me. I say yes too much because I want people to be happy, but I really don't have the time or energy to be saying yes all the time! I don't ask for help enough.

I know these habits are not helping me. I also know that staying comfortable by perpetuating these habits will keep me right where I am. I have to push myself out of my comfort zone. I have to be brave enough to try a new way. And if I try and it doesn't work out, at least I know I tried. I will just repeat this mantra, "Acceptance is key. Accept what is."

I am trying to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. I am going to try to stop avoiding situations, conversations or people. I have been working all year on grounding myself and having difficult conversations. I am focusing on accepting and embracing that I can only control my reaction to anything and everything. I am only in control of me. Nothing else.

I can't argue with what is. I can try and influence, but eventually all I have is acceptance. There is a lot of peace that comes with acceptance. I am wishing us all peace and acceptance this Holiday season.

Monsters Closet
By Jon Huckeby

There are no skeletons in my closet.
Only monsters for me.
I keep them locked up,
so that no one can see.
There's a Wallup from grade school,
I've known him the longest.
And a red-bellied Doo-Hickey,
he's perpetually jaundiced.
There's a Shiver-Me-Timber,
who thinks he's all that.
And a blue Yokumstretcher
with the tail of a rat.
An Envy Pretendie.
A Holleyblog too.
A vegetarian Kattywompus,
he's fairly new.
And way in the back
stands Fuzzy McTott.
He looks really mean
but he's actually not.
So be on the lookout
for a monster or four.
Then give me a call 'cause
I have room for more.

More about Jon here